Looking back on 2013!

The year all began with a bang as we ushered in 2013 as newlyweds (sort of) and looked forward to starting a family sometime during the year. Little did I know then that I would only need to wait two months before we found out we were expecting baby Blueberry. Hard to imagine that I only made it 2 months of 2013 with the freedom of not being a "mom" before our lives changed completely. I wish we would have lived it up a little more in January and February (although we did travel to ski in Colorado, we were mostly homebodies for once). From March 9, the day we found out were expecting, my life drastically changed. I made it through the morning sickness, despite getting sick during class a couple of times, made it through my body's changes as I grew larger, survived the heat of the Arizona summer (barely) while pregnant, traveled endlessly over the summer, started a new school year (with some of my favorite students and classes to date), and whipped through the labor, birth, and first two months as a mom (although not always gracefully).

Things I discovered in 2013:
- The best sound in the world is the sound of silence after you turn off the shower
- The best sight in the world is the sight of your baby's smiles after seeing your face
- Just how short 2 hours really is (the time between feedings)
- Just how fast 2 months really goes by (the time of maternity leave!)
- The wisdom of my "elders"- from my sisters-in-law who helped me with my endless baby questions, to my friends who took the plunge before me and loaned us so many hand-me-downs that shopping was easy!
- The power of grandmas willing to babysit
- The wonder of how to survive on 5 hours of sleep a night or less
- How to deal with heartburn- GAVISCON
- How to deal with Phoenix heat (I will never be as hot as I was all summer again, unless, of course, I am pregnant for another AZ summer, which I will do all I can in my power to avoid)
- For that matter, the value of air conditioning, short sleeves, and pools
- To enjoy Water Aerobics
- To enjoy Yoga!
- To enjoy "me time", "down time", "quiet time", "time at home", "Kyle time"--- TIME IS SO PRECIOUS!

I cannot WAIT to see what 2014 brings!! I can only imagine that my attention will be predominately focused on Emerson's ongoing development, many milestones, and what adventures this year is already scheduled to bring in travel, love, and life!

Cheers to a wonderful change (looking back on it all, it really is remarkable) and here's to many, many more memories and surprises in 2014!

Love,
Erica,
Kyle,
Emerson

Thank you great aunt Sue for the onesie!!

The bubbly!

I'm SO EXCITED that I was born in 2013! Bring on 2014!

Family portrait!

Such a cute smile! Love my daddy SOOOO much!

Bonfire! (Fireworks came along with it!)

A toast at midnight!

The kids are all asleep, a little adult time!

With Jon and Lindsay Buchert- thanks for hosting!!!!

And some new friends- Ryan and Alicia

Many Milestones this Monday!

This may have been the most memorable week of Emerson's life thus far! First, his very first Christmas! I have already posted twice about this, and will be posting at least one more round of photos from the event (besides this post) before this holiday can be considered thoroughly documented.

In front the Jensen Christmas tree, Minnesota.

Then, it gets even more exciting!

Emerson's first PLANE RIDE!! We flew back to the frozen north (Minnesota) the 26th for the family Christmas. He was SO good on the plane. On the way there, he was awake and happy, then napped, then ate, and then we had a bit of a disaster in his pants. I noticed my hand felt wet, and after investigating we realized that we had to make an outfit change in an airplane lavatory. NOT an easy task, given the limited space. I had to wet toilet paper and wash him off, take off soiled clothing without getting more on him, and then change his outfit. Only then did I realize that I neglected to pack socks, as his original outfit (grammy's "My First Christmas" outfit) had built-in footies. Then the flight attendant gave him his first wings!

December 26, 2013- Our first plane ride on Sun Country to MN

Family fun! This is the outfit he soiled! :)

I got my wings! (After outfit change)

And, even more exciting, Emerson's first time IN THE SNOW! We got him an adorable Old Navy fleece snowsuit (for $11 I might add) and got him all bundled up to sit in the sled. He fell asleep immediately after getting bundled, however, so we didn't get an awake picture.

Google magic made it snow in the sunshine!

So, as you can see, it was quite the eventful week in Emerson's life. And, today, he survived a round of his 2-month old shots like a champ! He barely cried at all. My little man is growing up!

Merry Christmas part 2!

The holidays just keep happening in this extended family. We head off for the next round in the morning, but I had to post another set of pictures to keep you all entertained. After all, this blog is officially Emerson's "baby book" so I have to document the firsts thoroughly.

We had our Davis family Christmas celebrations over the last 24 hours. So much fun! I have to share a few fun stories, but will wait until I have the photos to accompany them for publication!

For now, our cute little man:

And to all a good night...

Grandmom's tree is magical!

My Christmas pjs- I am still waking up in this picture

Thank you Bickley family for this outfit (there is a reindeer on my butt, too)

Merry Christmas part 1

Hope you all had a wonderful and family-filled Christmas Eve!

Here are some of Emerson's pictures to help add to your celebration and joy.

Our Santa hat and "Meet me Under the Mistletoe" shirt

From the Ngo family- I think this is the same plaid as mommy's grade-school uniform

Our Santa onesie with tie and suspenders!

This outfit is from Grandma Jensen!

See, I am smiling!

And this was just TOO cute! So grown up and loving bath time.

So much is changing!

Milestone Monday today could be filled with different changes we have been seeing in and with Emerson. It is the week of his first Christmas! (I am sure I will be highlighting this next Monday with LOADS of pictures).

We noticed that Emerson is eating a bit quicker, sleeping a bit less during the day, and smiling a whole lot more!

He made it through 2 weeks of daycare, and seems to be growing out of all his newborn-sized clothes this week.

Here were our official 2-month pictures, although that was last Monday.

We finally got his chair in his room since last month's picture, so we decided to use it!

Although we had to recreate the original pose and position, also!

The truth is out there

I recently read an article in Fit Pregnancy about how we need to be more honest with expectant mothers, or other women in general, when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. The tendency is to claim to have "forgotten" all the bad (which is true with time) and to only provide positive reinforcement with statements like "It is SOOOOO wonderful", or "You just don't know love until you have your own child". Let's be real. These statements are only used as propaganda so we can have other women to complain about motherhood with, or to compare ourselves so we can "be better" than another mother.

I believe that there are some things I need to say (before I, too, forget the bad parts) and I don't think it is fair that these things aren't more commonly discussed.

First, the pain of labor really does take your breath away, but we are stronger than we think. However, trumping all that is the ridiculousness of recovery. When that epidural (should you choose to have one) wears off, the reality sinks in. You have a major injury from which you will need to recover. Be it C-section or vaginal delivery, your body is aching. I felt everything for the first week, each time I shifted positions. My back felt bruised from the epidural. My legs were still puffy and swollen. I am not even going to discuss the process of going to the bathroom (you don't appreciate mere toilet paper and public restrooms until you realize you can't leave the house without your peri bottle and you can't pee without first prepping by filling said bottle). TAKE THE NUMBING SPRAY FROM THE HOSPITAL.

Next, and this is what I am really writing this for, is the loss of self becoming a mother causes. I had spent 32 years forming my identity, developing my career, and becoming the individual I felt was truly "me". I just settled into my identity as a wife and teacher, and then that was suddenly swept out from under me as I had to readjust to motherhood. I kind of resent this.

I loved my life as a teacher. I felt like I had complete control of my own destiny and day. Becoming a mother took away that sense of accomplishment and security that I had worked long and hard to build. I have moments where I just want to be stressed out by grading once more. To have my only worry be about what outfit I am going to wear tomorrow. I want to run errands alone, and in half the time. Upon realizing that nothing would ever be "easy" again, I had a breakdown because I wasn't immediately living up to my own idealistic image of a mother. I was able to juggle so much before. I used to rock multi-tasking and let my perfectionistic personality take over on a sort of auto-pilot whenever I needed to get stuff done fast and efficiently (usually because it was last minute).

It. Is. Hard.

To say that life has changed is a vast understatement. It is so  much more than the physical schedule and routine changes. It is the mental adjustment of the roles we must fill. It is very nearly like losing a good friend or a loved one. I believe there must be a time to allow for some mourning. I am not even close to achieving the balance of my time between my new roles. And forget about "me" time. That no longer exists. The only quiet and peaceful moments I get are still filled with little coos and gasps (which are cute, but still not "me" time). 3:00 a.m. feedings are an escape in which I can just be with my thoughts, but my thoughts now revolve around feeding times, packing bags, and planning for a number of possible mini disasters that may occur in a day.

So, when other women and mothers, from friends to complete strangers, say to me "Oh, don't you just LOVE it [being a mother]" and I get a nasty scowl on my face, it isn't because I am not appreciative of their enthusiasm and good-will. It is because I know that some of them (if not all) are really lying. No, I don't always LOVE it, ok?! I wish I could say that it always feels like I am tripping on happy gas, but most of the time I am just trying to stay afloat in a sea of "what ifs" and guilt that I am not swooning over poopie diapers and lack of sleep. 

So there, I've said it. I could tell you all until I am blue in the face to be prepared, but it is impossible to know how you'll feel until you are in it full-force. Until then, here's to my former self! I can only hope that this new identity one day will be remembered as fondly as I now recall my past 9 years as "teacher-wife-carefree-young-eager-enthusiastic-idealistic-fun" Erica.

Oh, solitude. Will I ever greet thee again?

First Christmas Preparations!

Emerson has been alive for 2 months officially as of today!!!

I know it isn't officially his first Christmas yet, but Emerson has gotten to join in on many fun Christmas traditions that Kyle and I started years ago. We love having him along, even if he does sleep through them.

First, and this sounds horrible, I know, but Emerson tagged along for a bar on the annual 12 Bars of Christmas pub crawl. Really, I wanted to go shopping and Kyle wanted to go drinking, so I met up with Kyle at a bar for some appetizers and an adult beverage after feeding Emerson, then we split off to shop for gifts for my long-term sub and some others.

After this tradition, we shared in our annual ZooLights fun with him. We've been going to Zoolights every year with our good friends the McKevitt family. This year we continued and Emerson slept through the entire thing.

Watching the light show from the bridge

I started a new tradition by getting Emerson's picture with Santa, even if this one happened to ride into campus on a Harley. I didn't want to disturb Emerson too much, though, and it was cold, so the picture of him crying on Santa's lap will have to wait until next year.

At Basha's Winter Fest- benefit for the ASL club

All this holiday cheer is certainly much more fun with a little one to share it with. I can't wait to leave out milk and cookies for Santa, bake cookies for that matter, and fill his stocking! Or, see what Santa put in his stocking. I made sure that we decorated using all our stuff so that even if he can't remember his first Christmas, he will sure have pictures to prove it.