Tuesday's Truth

I hate to tell you about this website that I found, for fear that you will stop reading what I have to say and instead turn to the truth and hilarity that Scary Mommy contains, but there, I did it. Please don't leave!

I am not the most liberal of all minds, nor am I close to prude or politically correct, but man do I enjoy a good satirical commentary. It must be the English teacher in me. I find it hard to focus on the serious, to be serious in the face of stress, or to write without using hyperbole. For that matter, I truly found my kindred spirits on Scary Mommy, and whether or not you are in agreement with my parenting style, feelings about parenting, or sense of humor in general, I am only whole when I can acknowledge my faults and limitations as a mom, as a woman, or as a person. So, that is my disclaimer, I guess, that anything I say that you may find revolting, worrisome, perhaps even insulting, is more for ME than for YOU. I need this blog, I need this release, and because I write it, I am good.

If I were to never say anything that I write, then you should be worried. I'd be cowering in a corner, singing nursery rhymes repetitively to the wrong tunes in the wrong keys, and praying for the grandmas and husband to save me from the insanity that is surely lurking in the near future.

Alright, now that I've got that out of my system, read this article to better understand where I am coming from: Baby 101

After my last post about the "truth" that I've experienced, I realized that yes, I, too, was an idealist who didn't want to hear it before I had Emerson. I thought that I could conquer any random problem that came with parenting with a little charm and creativity, just like I have solved countless other social and scholastic problems with much success. Turns out, I have learned the hardest lesson. The lesson is this:

I need more than myself, (my charm and creativity,) to survive.

I need the love of my family members who take care of Emerson when I just can't hold him for another second without losing all feeling in my left hand.
I need the friends who have gone before me and learned the lessons "the hard way" (AKA, "first"), and have been my lifeline from the start. Thank you for tolerating my endless desperate questions.
I need my coworkers who stepped in when I had my first real absence from work, unexpectedly 2 weeks early. And who continue to cover my butt when mommy brain prevents me from being as competent as I once was. And who allow for me to go visit Emerson, pump in the middle of the day, and sometimes take a little too long a lunch by covering for my classes.
I need the humor of the online community who find that parenting really looks much different in reality than in the idealized parenting classes, books, and movies. Read The Cantrell Clan, written by my sorority sister, for another good example.

I need people. And I am really bad at that. I don't even like asking my own husband for help, for fear that it is admitting my weakness and defeat. I hope that I can continue to work on this in 2014, consider it a New Year's resolution.

So thank you, people, for being my outlet, for being my support, and for continuing to read without being bribed by adorable pictures of the cutest little man in the world! I need you, too.

Many cards from many of my biggest supporters and role models