Feeling a Part of the Elite

I used to feel like I was out of the loop. Everyone I knew was pregnant or had a little one. I didn't know what to ask about because I wasn't sure who was on the edge or who wanted to share their personal stories of all the "behind the scenes" symptoms of pregnancy. However, once I learned of my pregnancy, I got to join this exclusive club of women who know the reality about what it's like to be pregnant. Since then, I have been "privileged" to learn about a number of the fun things that people don't want to explain to women before pregnancy, most likely because NO ONE WOULD EVER GET PREGNANT if people really talked bluntly about it. Or maybe I wouldn't have been so naive.

I didn't want to believe that I had been living in any sort of utopian world of the joys of pregnancy because I have been surrounded by pregnant women for the past four or five years of my life. But I STILL didn't know about all the things that I was in for until I was in the middle of them.All the books say "Well, no one will tell you about this until you read this book", so screw that, I'm going to give it to you for free throughout this blog, not just this post, and I have a very hard time holding it back.

For one, and I know this is where some of you should probably stop reading, having a child, as we all know, means hours of eating and pooping as part of the daily routine. You count how many times your kid has pood in a day. You begin to post status updates on Twitter and Facebook that revolve around the "health" of your baby based on (gasp!) fecal matter. You brag about potty training, and we ALL know someone who has actually taken a picture of the first time her kid pood in the toilet. I had already vowed not to be that mommy. Well, guess what, I already take back every eye roll because I am about to share something. It isn't that life gets filled with food and poo after the baby. This type of daily record begins IN PREGNANCY!

"What do you mean?" you say. Well, as a pregnant woman, a small victory every day is having a regular bowl movement. A week that is constipation-free is a true reason to celebrate! Jenny McCarthy actually did a great job in her book Belly Laughs treating the subject of constipation with dignity. But I have actually had days where I was grateful for a good, old-fashioned BM, one that didn't involve praying and some geriatric-style Metamusil and prune juice.

With as much fruit as I have been consuming, you'd think this wouldn't be a true issue for me. But as I had a couple of uncomfortable days over the course of this pregnancy (understated for your protection), I know that it must be one of those inevitable side-effects of pregnancy that no one wants to talk about. 
Until I just unloaded that load of s@*# on you, you poor and unassuming reader.

I guess the moral of this story is that we shouldn't assume anything, and we should be nice to those women who post about their babies' diaper contents. After all, they are probably just happy it is no longer just about their bathroom issues. I am sure that I am going to be relieved when it is all over. Pun intended.

As a reward for making it through this, a picture for you.

19 weeks from the deck in Dillon, Colorado with the lake and Breckenridge in the background.