My best advice

I know personally just how many different blogs, articles, books, and people are out there to provide advice for pregnancy and for new moms. I find myself Googling so many questions I have on a regular basis (and like I teach my students, I don't just pick the first one and stop reading, I read a bunch to find out different opinions). On that note, I am going to be a bit hypocritical of my belief that you should take all advice with a grain of salt and give you some of the best advice I received (but maybe didn't heed), or have to give from my own personal experience, with the hope that it will be the advice you take.

First, I wish I would have packed that hospital bag when the pregnancy app told me to. Or my husband told me to. I do not like the fact that I spent the first hour of labor wondering what I'd need. Next time, there is no waiting.

In that hospital bag, I really wish I would have had an extra pillow and blanket for Kyle. He froze as my hormones raged and I endured days of sweating.  I also wish I had bought a nursing bra (with flexibility of size- like a sports-style) and a nursing tank top to wear home/ at the hospital. I did not need movies (no movie was as good as watching the new baby), or fancy underwear to wear home. Buy some crappy boy shorts you don't mind ruining if you want to bring your own underwear. OR take advantage of the hospital disposable kind- no one cares what you are wearing there.

Next, I really was not ready for the storm of the first month with the baby. I got some great advice on how to get through it, which I solicited, and the only thing I can really say is you just have to go with the flow that first month and not try to plan for anything. You will never be able to predict what the baby will be like. Get as much rest as you can when you can. It is ok to put the baby down when he or she is sleeping and not keep holding him or her. Don't feel guilty if he or she sleeps with you one or two nights. Don't feel guilty if he or she sleeps in the swing or napper chair. Keep the baby warm- this might help if he or she doesn't like being in the crib by himself or herself. And accept all the offers for meals from friends or family- but ask them to come in week 3 and not just the first week. Week 3 is harder. Take lots of pictures, including a newborn photo session in the first 2 weeks. It was totally worth getting those memories captured professionally when all I had to do was watch and get ready myself. Invite people over to help hold the baby so you can shower and eat.

Last, my advice is to not give up your life. My husband and I got out with the baby on day 8, and have taken him to various backyard get-togethers, parks, restaurants (at off times with fewer people), and stores. It makes you feel like life is still sort of normal, even though it isn't. I know some doctors caution against this, but this may be the example of advice I threw out. As long as people aren't touching your child, germs happen, but are rare. That is my opinion.

So now I've contributed to the overload, but at least I will be able to read this before child number 2 as a reminder to myself.

No matter what you do- the kid will be fine- just look at this!!!!

Daytime Discoveries

I have 6 weeks off every summer. However, every summer I spend those 6 weeks traveling, tanning by the pool, and the time always flies by too fast. I thought about this today as I enter my 5th week of maternity leave. Although it feels as if it has gone by quickly in hind sight, the time has passed in a dramatically different way than during my summer breaks. I have spent a lot more time on the couch, in front of the TV.

This has lead me to some interesting daytime discoveries. We all know that daytime TV sucks. Commercials for ITT Technical Institute, or Medicare, lead us to discover exactly who the audience of daytime TV is. Jerry Springer or Maury should further support this hypothesis. What about us moms? There are plenty of stay-at-home moms out there. Where is their TV?

Oh, I found it. HGTV. TLC. Bravo. A&E. Who knew that I could literally watch every single episode of "Love It or List It" ever made? Or find fascination in "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"? I started watching more wedding shows than I did planning my own wedding. I got stuck in a conundrum. I was no longer attracted to "Property Brothers". I could only endure so much "Say Yes to the Dress". I had to branch out.

Aha! Discovery.
"Ellen" at 3:00 p.m. I love this lady! She is funny! So I now find myself trying to schedule feedings and couch time around 3:00 so I can indulge. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law had already discovered this phenomenon, so I am slow on the uptake.

Then- get this- I find the Music Choice channel selection (I always have known it was there for the great "Sounds of the Season" selection, but in a moment of desperation I tried to find lullabies and found the 90's channel. O. M. G.  If you EVER wanted to know just how much your life has changed, juxtapose the now with your junior high and high school music library. Let me illustrate what the last hour has brought me:

Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise

En Vogue- Never Gonna Get It

Bobbi Brown- Humpin' Around

Wilson Phillips- Hold On

Wallflowers- One Headlight

Mariah Carey with Boys II Men- One Sweet Day

Dee Light- Groove is in the Heart

Puff Daddy and the Family- Nobody Slow Me Down

Mmmmmm- Crash Test Dummies

What if God was One of Us- Joan Osborne

JayZ- Can I Get A What What

Holy Flashback, Batman! I never thought I'd remember the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise so accurately. If there were a monitor watching me, I would have been embarrased by what I just did when Puff Daddy and the Family or JayZ came on and I booty shaked like I was back at the Kappa Sigma house in college. Anything to get Emerson to stop crying, right? He loved me singing "Never Gonna Get It"- even though I now know that sleep is what I will "never get"...

On that note, we've entered the joys of what my baby books have deemed "the fussiest stage" when Emerson has realized he'd rather be awake and social than asleep. Which means he either has to be held and rocked (and fighting sleep with all his might) or feeding to stay happy. Or in the car. I'm ready to rack up some major mileage after the evening we had last night and the day I've had today. And how, might you ask, have I found time to write a blog. This is called an emergency for sanity. I can ignore cries for 10 minutes at a time. And then he drifts off and I get 10 minutes of peace. Then I take care of him for 10 minutes. Then the cycle repeats. So, needless to say, I wrote this! It may have taken the last 4 hours, but I did it! And I won't go nuts because of this much needed "adult time".

Unless, of course, Notorious BIG or Tupac come on. Then I'll go nuts, just a different type of nuts.

Then:

Rockin' 1992 at my 12th birthday party

Junior winter formal- 1997- when I learned to booty shake

And now... the mess of the ottoman where I camp out during the day

Emerson is 1 Month Old!

Today's Monday Milestone marks Emerson's 1-month birthday! (It was on Saturday, but we had a busy weekend).

This first month was a true challenge. Recently, my friend Courtney had talked to me about how challenging the first month was for her, and I completely understand why now. The hardest part for me is learning how to only do one thing each day. It is the only thing I have time for. If I make my typical "to-do" list, I end each day in disappointment that I "got nothing done". I know you readers are out there laughing at me (if you've already had kids), but I had to learn this lesson for myself.

Even with my reality check, I still am stubborn and the biggest source of my frustration is wanting to be more productive each day. I feel like I am in prison some days, with a child ball-and-chain attached to me for about 6 hours of the day eating, and at least 2 hours on top of that sleeping. I am getting better about letting go when he falls asleep, though, and not being afraid of waking him up a bit every now and then.

Emerson's favorite things this first month have to be his stroller rides outside. He loves the sky and light! Social atmospheres with music, lots of voices and people, and noise in general are also his favorite places, because he is either a solid sleeper there, or is so happy and alert for a long period of time. Then, of course, he loves his mom's milk, so much that it puts him to sleep almost every time, and loves his dad's voice when his dad comes home from work and tells him stories.

I felt like this month took forever and no time at all at the same time! I was in shock for the first few days, since he was early and we weren't fully prepared, and then I think I have been exhausted up until these past few days.

Oh! To add to his milestone list, he had his first 2 bottles this week (of breast milk), had his first babysitter (grammy Jensen), and slept for 5 hours straight one night on his own in his crib!

Here is his one-month portrait:

Correction: at his 1-month doctor's appointment, he weighed 8 lbs 6 oz and measured 22 inches!!!

Mom's First Birthday...

This past Tuesday was my 33rd birthday. That is right, my first birthday that wasn't all about me. It was truly odd, not gonna lie. My boys did their best to make sure that I didn't feel like I got the shaft for this first birthday as a mom, and I did feel pretty relaxed and special.

Highlights of my birthday this year:

1. The date was 11-12-13. How awesome was that!?

2. I got to continue my tradition of having a birthday lunch at The Farm at South Mountain because Emerson was early enough that we could make it out.

You'll probably recognize this pose/location from my last pregnant picture taken here on October 11!

Pumpkin roll dessert!

Emerson getting a little sunshine!

3. Although it was really my anniversary present, I got to go on a dinner date to Cornish Pasty, and the see The Lion King musical. This was my first time out without Emerson since his birth. Kyle said I was being a nervous mom the whole dinner, but I think I handled it pretty well. I only asked once for a status update. This also meant that Emerson had to take a bottle for the first time!

Kyle's ridiculously large beer at Cornish Pasty

My beer- Rogue Hazelnut!

Cheers!

4. Not only did my mom/grammy babysit for us, but she also made me a cake! Spice cake with cream cheese frosting- my favorite!

My cake!

5. Kyle and Emerson bought me a strand of authentic pearls and pearl stud earrings. They are beautiful!

So excited to get to wear my sorority-girl pearls!

6. I got a pedicure and brow wax!

7. I also got a Pizzookie at Oreganos for free on my birthday!

Pizzookie!

Milestone Monday

Today's Milestones from the past two weeks (I get a little behind with uploading pictures!):

Baby's first Halloween (but I already made a post about that!)

Baby's first bath! That is right, we lost our umbilical cord, so we got to take a bath! And we didn't cry at all.

I like the water although this bathtub isn't all too comfortable!

I am not really sure what to think about all this?!

I love my fish blanket when I am in the bathtub!

All wrapped up in my towel from Megan, Ellie, and Jeff Broker!

Baby's first trip to Teakwoods!

Watching the Cardinals- or sleeping through the game (they actually won!)

Baby's first Packer game (well, one where we got dressed up to watch it)
 

But I am awake for the Packer game!

And baby's first trip to the mall, where we hit up Baby Gap and got some cute pajamas!

Mustache PJs!!!

The rest of the weeks included trying to maintain a regular feeding schedule, figuring out how to sleep in bed more and more, and trying out different methods to keep me happy! (Me as in Emerson, mom has yet to figure out how to take care of herself while taking care of the baby!)

We still love getting outdoors, love taking walks in the stroller, and love being social.

Flashback Friday!

Today I need to return to 3 weeks ago, Emerson's birth, and the truly amazing experience we had at Mercy Gilbert Medical Center. I highly recommend this hospital for any mom-to-be out there. The staff was outstanding, the little things that they did for us were unforgettable, and I even opted to stay the second night because I was afraid to leave.

First, I need to thank the most outstanding nurses who helped me through everything.  Patricia was our delivery nurse (sharing my mom's full name!), and she was great help, always providing me encouragement and making sure to only share the positives with me when I was in labor, so that the experience itself lacked the gory or unpleasant details and only the best parts remained! She gave me the permission to take a nap before I had to push because I was too numb, and this was the best thing ever because I didn't sleep again for the next 2 days...

Then, our first nurse after labor was Diane, who made our room special with her unique touches. She was kind, courteous, experienced, and supportive when Emerson was in the nursery for his first 3 hours of life. She helped me figure out my own "bathroom routine" for recovery and helped get me set up with pillows for Emerson's first feeding. She made us this swan for our room:

(or maybe it is a cobra?)

My overnight nurse, Elaine, sat with me for hours until I could get Emerson to eat and not just sleep. We had to spoon feed him, but this did the trick, and gave him enough energy to get him to eat for more than one or two sucks. She shared stories from her years of experience, and really made it pleasant every time I was awakened in the middle of the night. She also changed Emerson's diaper for me a bunch while Kyle slept.

Then I had Dana, Robin, Lisa, and Launa in my last 12 hours (a lot of shift changes and subs!) Launa was so great, and our friends Lindsay and Jon told us she was their favorite nurse when they delivered at Mercy. She is enthusiastic, talkative, and answered all my embarrassing recovery-centered questions, like what brand of maxi pads is the best, since I hadn't used them since I was 13...

I just recently went through our hospital paperwork and found a card that all my nurses signed for Emerson welcoming him to the world. This brought me to tears because I am the one who should be sending THEM a card!

My overall favorite part of the entire experience, however, was the wonderful volunteers who came in every day around 2:00 for "tea time". These older ladies brought us a hand-crocheted hat for Emerson, tea cakes and truffles, and a hot cup of chai with 2 lumps of sugar every day. This helped both my sweet tooth and made my hospital experience feel like a retreat!

Overall, I am glad we had the option of staying 48 hours, I was so grateful for the help and support throughout our stay, and I actually look forward to delivering future babies there, again!

Family photo before leaving the hospital

Emerson in the "kangaroo" hold to help him bond/eat!

Still a bit of a cone head, but totally content

Got a good grip on his daddy... his daddy's heart! :)

Such a proud papa! Our little frog sure was/is precious!

What I've learned thus far...

Today was supposed to be my due date. I had thought my entire pregnancy that even today was too early to expect little Blueberry to arrive. Boy, did I learn an important lesson in not having everything go as planned...

This brings me to reflect on the lessons I've already learned in the short 2.5 weeks since I've officially become a mom. First, I must have some sort of sixth sense because I somehow felt that I was going to go into labor the night I did, and asked Kyle to come home from his guys' night. Now I can tell that this "instinct" to parent is most definitely real, as all the "ideas" I have in my head, such as how to calm Emerson down when he is grumpy, seem to work in reality when I implement them. Today, for example, Emerson was not happy, and would cry if he wasn't eating. He didn't nap like usual, so I assume he is over tired, and is only turning to hunger because, like an adult, he doesn't know what else to do. So, my idea was to distract him, take him outside on a walk where he couldn't concentrate on being hungry or sleepy, and wouldn't you know, he immediately stopped crying in the fresh air and sunshine and was happy as a clam until the minute we walked back into the house. It was seriously instantaneous crying once we were back home until he got to eat again. But the experience helped to get him back into his feeding routine.

The next thing that I've learned is that the SIMS in NO WAY really helps to simulate parenting. The reason I bring this up is because back in 2000, around the time the SIMS was released, my siblings and I had a little problem with fighting over who got the most computer time to play the game. I remember my summer home from college and staying up all night to play so I wouldn't have to share the computer with my family. In this game, if your characters had a baby, for 3 computer-simulated days you would have to be prepared to wake up at any given moment and feed the baby, rock the baby, sing to the baby, play with the baby... Then, magically, after 3 days, the baby became a kid. Then you never knew what your kid would look like. Sometimes they were annoying kids. In one famous incident, my sister locked her kid out of the house until it died because it was too ugly. (There are many embarrassing stories about my characters, too, but not dealing with the parenting of the game). Well, SIMS, your simulated parenting in NO WAY helped me to prepare for the challenges of actual parenting. Kyle will be the first to tell you that every time it is feeding time in the middle of the night, I ask for "just 5 more minutes" before I can get up the energy to go get Emerson out of his crib and stay up with him for an hour to eat. To minimize the monotony, I play a lot of Mahjong on my phone. (That was a highly alliterative sentence). So, I guess what I've learned is that this really is a challenge that you can, in no way, prepare fully for, or understand the difficulty of, until you have experienced it.

I have also learned that I can pretty much immediately fall asleep on demand now, knowing how precious a commodity true sleep is.

I have learned that eating with one hand while nursing a baby is a valuable skill.

I have learned that having backup clothes readily available at all times is essential, for Emerson can pee all over everything at any given moment. Backup clothes for him and you, the parent, that is.

I have learned that the great outdoors really is helpful for a little man named after the great Transcendentalist, Emerson.

I have learned to ask for help (although I am still really bad at it) and to trust in the help that I receive (like from my coworkers who had to step it up to get my sub transitioned).

I have learned that daytime TV is horrible. Except for HGTV.

I have mostly learned that I can't control, plan or count on anything going smoothly when I am no longer the one making the calls in the family. I've had to change and cancel plans because of feeding schedules, and I've had to let some things I've wanted to do go, like attending the grand opening of the new J.Crew outlet store.

But most of all, I've learned that I truly love and appreciate my family, all of it, from my parents and in-laws, to those who are considered family but not by blood. And of course, above all else, I love my husband and my little one more that I'd ever imagined. Even if I am just a food cow and an incubator for them...

My eyes are open more and more often these days!

Dad likes to nap with me on the couch.