My Mother's Day Thoughts for my Inaugural Celebration!

So I have officially been a mother for nearly 7 months now. But I would say that I've been in the mindset of a mother for over a year.  I remember being so excited last year on Mother's Day because I knew that THIS year, I'd be celebrating with my little boy (well, I didn't know he was going to be a boy yet, but I knew I'd have a baby!)

Here are some of my reflections on the past 6 months of both the ups and downs of motherhood.

Stage 1: The Pregnancy
I can now admit to the bliss and innocent naivety that encompasses pregnancy, for at least the first child. I was uncomfortable and hot, yes, but I was also full of wonder, oddly relaxed, and so excited for all the adventures to come (hence the name of the blog). I am sure glad that I captured so many moments and emotions in writing to read when I have a low moment.

Thank you Sarah Goodman Photography for capturing my last week of pregnancy!

Stage 2: The Newborn
What can only be considered the most difficult transitional period of my life, my maternity leave was full of sleepless nights, pain, and hours of staring at the little miracle we had brought home and somehow been trusted with taking care of. I am not ready to jump back into this stage again quite yet, but looking back it sure was nice to have time off to just focus on the adjustment. Now I can't wait for my "mental leave" (a.k.a. summer) to start.  We learned how to fall asleep in under a minute (sleep when you can!), how to eat, do dishes, do laundry, get dressed, shower... all with one hand/arm. :) We learned how to let the messes go because the milestones are more fun, and you don't want to miss a smile, a burp, or even a dirty diaper.  We learned how to be parents. Well, we are still learning. I am not sure I'll ever stop.

Emerson was 1-week-old in this photo shoot, also from Sarah Goodman!

Stage 3: Going Back to Work
I was so ready to get out of the house and back to the adult world after being holed up at home for my maternity leave (I know, I know, I kind of contradict myself there, but there were good days and bad days). I only went back for 2 weeks to transition, and then had a break. That was a smart move. But the balance between work life and home life has been difficult for me to achieve. I have always prided myself on my teaching. I love the classroom and my students and I really struggle with the feeling of being an inadequate teacher because I just don't have the time to devote to it anymore. Yet, I have still found time to attend my students' shows and concerts, advise National Honor Society, grade 300 essays over the past 3 weeks... yea I pretty much ignored my family but I'll have some time to make up for it now. I feel every day that I am letting down both my students and coworkers, and my family. I don't know how working women who don't have their kids at the daycare at their workplaces can do it. I don't know if I'd be able to without the setup that we have for our daycare! One thing is for sure, I cannot be as productive during my time at work when there is a little one that I go to visit and feed 2 times a day! It certainly puts a strain on your free time when you work has to carry over to your evenings almost every day, so I hope that I can figure out a better system for next school year.

Me and Emerson on Flannel Spirit Day at school.

Our selfie at Brian's wedding in Peru.

During all these stages, I have had to deal with a range of emotions. Stress is at its peak, and the countless sleepless nights don't help much. But every single day Emerson is more fun, learning so much, and he sure smiles a lot! I guess that smile is all I really need to know that things are ok.

There will be many more "stages" in the upcoming years, and I am sure I'll continue to document them for you and for myself and Emerson. I will say that I've come to truly appreciate all the other mother's who helped raise me or who I've watched raise other children. You never know until you go!

Happy Mother's Day!!!