Daytime Discoveries

I have 6 weeks off every summer. However, every summer I spend those 6 weeks traveling, tanning by the pool, and the time always flies by too fast. I thought about this today as I enter my 5th week of maternity leave. Although it feels as if it has gone by quickly in hind sight, the time has passed in a dramatically different way than during my summer breaks. I have spent a lot more time on the couch, in front of the TV.

This has lead me to some interesting daytime discoveries. We all know that daytime TV sucks. Commercials for ITT Technical Institute, or Medicare, lead us to discover exactly who the audience of daytime TV is. Jerry Springer or Maury should further support this hypothesis. What about us moms? There are plenty of stay-at-home moms out there. Where is their TV?

Oh, I found it. HGTV. TLC. Bravo. A&E. Who knew that I could literally watch every single episode of "Love It or List It" ever made? Or find fascination in "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"? I started watching more wedding shows than I did planning my own wedding. I got stuck in a conundrum. I was no longer attracted to "Property Brothers". I could only endure so much "Say Yes to the Dress". I had to branch out.

Aha! Discovery.
"Ellen" at 3:00 p.m. I love this lady! She is funny! So I now find myself trying to schedule feedings and couch time around 3:00 so I can indulge. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law had already discovered this phenomenon, so I am slow on the uptake.

Then- get this- I find the Music Choice channel selection (I always have known it was there for the great "Sounds of the Season" selection, but in a moment of desperation I tried to find lullabies and found the 90's channel. O. M. G.  If you EVER wanted to know just how much your life has changed, juxtapose the now with your junior high and high school music library. Let me illustrate what the last hour has brought me:

Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise

En Vogue- Never Gonna Get It

Bobbi Brown- Humpin' Around

Wilson Phillips- Hold On

Wallflowers- One Headlight

Mariah Carey with Boys II Men- One Sweet Day

Dee Light- Groove is in the Heart

Puff Daddy and the Family- Nobody Slow Me Down

Mmmmmm- Crash Test Dummies

What if God was One of Us- Joan Osborne

JayZ- Can I Get A What What

Holy Flashback, Batman! I never thought I'd remember the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise so accurately. If there were a monitor watching me, I would have been embarrased by what I just did when Puff Daddy and the Family or JayZ came on and I booty shaked like I was back at the Kappa Sigma house in college. Anything to get Emerson to stop crying, right? He loved me singing "Never Gonna Get It"- even though I now know that sleep is what I will "never get"...

On that note, we've entered the joys of what my baby books have deemed "the fussiest stage" when Emerson has realized he'd rather be awake and social than asleep. Which means he either has to be held and rocked (and fighting sleep with all his might) or feeding to stay happy. Or in the car. I'm ready to rack up some major mileage after the evening we had last night and the day I've had today. And how, might you ask, have I found time to write a blog. This is called an emergency for sanity. I can ignore cries for 10 minutes at a time. And then he drifts off and I get 10 minutes of peace. Then I take care of him for 10 minutes. Then the cycle repeats. So, needless to say, I wrote this! It may have taken the last 4 hours, but I did it! And I won't go nuts because of this much needed "adult time".

Unless, of course, Notorious BIG or Tupac come on. Then I'll go nuts, just a different type of nuts.

Then:

Rockin' 1992 at my 12th birthday party

Junior winter formal- 1997- when I learned to booty shake

And now... the mess of the ottoman where I camp out during the day