Many Milestones this Monday!

This may have been the most memorable week of Emerson's life thus far! First, his very first Christmas! I have already posted twice about this, and will be posting at least one more round of photos from the event (besides this post) before this holiday can be considered thoroughly documented.

In front the Jensen Christmas tree, Minnesota.

Then, it gets even more exciting!

Emerson's first PLANE RIDE!! We flew back to the frozen north (Minnesota) the 26th for the family Christmas. He was SO good on the plane. On the way there, he was awake and happy, then napped, then ate, and then we had a bit of a disaster in his pants. I noticed my hand felt wet, and after investigating we realized that we had to make an outfit change in an airplane lavatory. NOT an easy task, given the limited space. I had to wet toilet paper and wash him off, take off soiled clothing without getting more on him, and then change his outfit. Only then did I realize that I neglected to pack socks, as his original outfit (grammy's "My First Christmas" outfit) had built-in footies. Then the flight attendant gave him his first wings!

December 26, 2013- Our first plane ride on Sun Country to MN

Family fun! This is the outfit he soiled! :)

I got my wings! (After outfit change)

And, even more exciting, Emerson's first time IN THE SNOW! We got him an adorable Old Navy fleece snowsuit (for $11 I might add) and got him all bundled up to sit in the sled. He fell asleep immediately after getting bundled, however, so we didn't get an awake picture.

Google magic made it snow in the sunshine!

So, as you can see, it was quite the eventful week in Emerson's life. And, today, he survived a round of his 2-month old shots like a champ! He barely cried at all. My little man is growing up!

Merry Christmas part 2!

The holidays just keep happening in this extended family. We head off for the next round in the morning, but I had to post another set of pictures to keep you all entertained. After all, this blog is officially Emerson's "baby book" so I have to document the firsts thoroughly.

We had our Davis family Christmas celebrations over the last 24 hours. So much fun! I have to share a few fun stories, but will wait until I have the photos to accompany them for publication!

For now, our cute little man:

And to all a good night...

Grandmom's tree is magical!

My Christmas pjs- I am still waking up in this picture

Thank you Bickley family for this outfit (there is a reindeer on my butt, too)

Merry Christmas part 1

Hope you all had a wonderful and family-filled Christmas Eve!

Here are some of Emerson's pictures to help add to your celebration and joy.

Our Santa hat and "Meet me Under the Mistletoe" shirt

From the Ngo family- I think this is the same plaid as mommy's grade-school uniform

Our Santa onesie with tie and suspenders!

This outfit is from Grandma Jensen!

See, I am smiling!

And this was just TOO cute! So grown up and loving bath time.

So much is changing!

Milestone Monday today could be filled with different changes we have been seeing in and with Emerson. It is the week of his first Christmas! (I am sure I will be highlighting this next Monday with LOADS of pictures).

We noticed that Emerson is eating a bit quicker, sleeping a bit less during the day, and smiling a whole lot more!

He made it through 2 weeks of daycare, and seems to be growing out of all his newborn-sized clothes this week.

Here were our official 2-month pictures, although that was last Monday.

We finally got his chair in his room since last month's picture, so we decided to use it!

Although we had to recreate the original pose and position, also!

The truth is out there

I recently read an article in Fit Pregnancy about how we need to be more honest with expectant mothers, or other women in general, when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. The tendency is to claim to have "forgotten" all the bad (which is true with time) and to only provide positive reinforcement with statements like "It is SOOOOO wonderful", or "You just don't know love until you have your own child". Let's be real. These statements are only used as propaganda so we can have other women to complain about motherhood with, or to compare ourselves so we can "be better" than another mother.

I believe that there are some things I need to say (before I, too, forget the bad parts) and I don't think it is fair that these things aren't more commonly discussed.

First, the pain of labor really does take your breath away, but we are stronger than we think. However, trumping all that is the ridiculousness of recovery. When that epidural (should you choose to have one) wears off, the reality sinks in. You have a major injury from which you will need to recover. Be it C-section or vaginal delivery, your body is aching. I felt everything for the first week, each time I shifted positions. My back felt bruised from the epidural. My legs were still puffy and swollen. I am not even going to discuss the process of going to the bathroom (you don't appreciate mere toilet paper and public restrooms until you realize you can't leave the house without your peri bottle and you can't pee without first prepping by filling said bottle). TAKE THE NUMBING SPRAY FROM THE HOSPITAL.

Next, and this is what I am really writing this for, is the loss of self becoming a mother causes. I had spent 32 years forming my identity, developing my career, and becoming the individual I felt was truly "me". I just settled into my identity as a wife and teacher, and then that was suddenly swept out from under me as I had to readjust to motherhood. I kind of resent this.

I loved my life as a teacher. I felt like I had complete control of my own destiny and day. Becoming a mother took away that sense of accomplishment and security that I had worked long and hard to build. I have moments where I just want to be stressed out by grading once more. To have my only worry be about what outfit I am going to wear tomorrow. I want to run errands alone, and in half the time. Upon realizing that nothing would ever be "easy" again, I had a breakdown because I wasn't immediately living up to my own idealistic image of a mother. I was able to juggle so much before. I used to rock multi-tasking and let my perfectionistic personality take over on a sort of auto-pilot whenever I needed to get stuff done fast and efficiently (usually because it was last minute).

It. Is. Hard.

To say that life has changed is a vast understatement. It is so  much more than the physical schedule and routine changes. It is the mental adjustment of the roles we must fill. It is very nearly like losing a good friend or a loved one. I believe there must be a time to allow for some mourning. I am not even close to achieving the balance of my time between my new roles. And forget about "me" time. That no longer exists. The only quiet and peaceful moments I get are still filled with little coos and gasps (which are cute, but still not "me" time). 3:00 a.m. feedings are an escape in which I can just be with my thoughts, but my thoughts now revolve around feeding times, packing bags, and planning for a number of possible mini disasters that may occur in a day.

So, when other women and mothers, from friends to complete strangers, say to me "Oh, don't you just LOVE it [being a mother]" and I get a nasty scowl on my face, it isn't because I am not appreciative of their enthusiasm and good-will. It is because I know that some of them (if not all) are really lying. No, I don't always LOVE it, ok?! I wish I could say that it always feels like I am tripping on happy gas, but most of the time I am just trying to stay afloat in a sea of "what ifs" and guilt that I am not swooning over poopie diapers and lack of sleep. 

So there, I've said it. I could tell you all until I am blue in the face to be prepared, but it is impossible to know how you'll feel until you are in it full-force. Until then, here's to my former self! I can only hope that this new identity one day will be remembered as fondly as I now recall my past 9 years as "teacher-wife-carefree-young-eager-enthusiastic-idealistic-fun" Erica.

Oh, solitude. Will I ever greet thee again?

First Christmas Preparations!

Emerson has been alive for 2 months officially as of today!!!

I know it isn't officially his first Christmas yet, but Emerson has gotten to join in on many fun Christmas traditions that Kyle and I started years ago. We love having him along, even if he does sleep through them.

First, and this sounds horrible, I know, but Emerson tagged along for a bar on the annual 12 Bars of Christmas pub crawl. Really, I wanted to go shopping and Kyle wanted to go drinking, so I met up with Kyle at a bar for some appetizers and an adult beverage after feeding Emerson, then we split off to shop for gifts for my long-term sub and some others.

After this tradition, we shared in our annual ZooLights fun with him. We've been going to Zoolights every year with our good friends the McKevitt family. This year we continued and Emerson slept through the entire thing.

Watching the light show from the bridge

I started a new tradition by getting Emerson's picture with Santa, even if this one happened to ride into campus on a Harley. I didn't want to disturb Emerson too much, though, and it was cold, so the picture of him crying on Santa's lap will have to wait until next year.

At Basha's Winter Fest- benefit for the ASL club

All this holiday cheer is certainly much more fun with a little one to share it with. I can't wait to leave out milk and cookies for Santa, bake cookies for that matter, and fill his stocking! Or, see what Santa put in his stocking. I made sure that we decorated using all our stuff so that even if he can't remember his first Christmas, he will sure have pictures to prove it.

Emerson's First Day of School!

Well, I know it doesn't officially count, but today Emerson went to school for the first time! The craziest part of it was how much stuff I had to haul across campus. I definitely got my work out in this way today! We weren't late, but we did take longer than we had planned. Also, his feeding schedule was off all day, so we struggled a bit with timing. We came up with a better system for tomorrow, and luckily the daycare ladies, Sandy and Lexy, were very accommodating and helpful.

So, this marks the major milestones of this Milestone Monday. I am back working full time, and Emerson has started daycare!

I must admit, although I thought about him all day, I enjoyed the 8 hours of productive "me" time, despite the fact that I was working and not doing something indulgent with the time. I think these 2 weeks before Christmas break will go by very quickly.

So proud we survived unscathed!

Here is his back-to-school Basha Bear hat :) courtesy of Cozy Cactus Creations.

Mom, this is WAY too early to be up and moving!

Sheble held me to give mom a break!

Emerson is 7 Weeks Old!

It seems like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital, yet here we are, settling into routines, learning how to smile, and returning to work/starting daycare already!

I HAD to share these with you all, since I am working on ordering some of them for the holidays. This is Emerson's newborn photo shoot, which we took on his 1-week birthday. Sarah Goodman Photography (Sarah herself) is amazingly patient with newborns, as she spent 5 hours at our house getting the pictures set up. She didn't judge us for the mess and found places to photograph him despite the house looking like a hurricane had come through (well, metaphorically speaking, one did). She brought props, a space heater to keep Emerson asleep and warm, and knew just what to do to capture all his baby parts, from facial expressions to tiny toes. I am just in love with the results. I hope you are, too.

But first, here is the 7-week photo I took of Emerson! You can see the beginnings of a smile. I call this "hipster Emerson" because of his Chucks and his pocket protector. I just need baby black-rimmed glasses.

But better yet, here are 3 from Sarah's shoot. And a link to the entire slideshow.

It is hard to tell, but has he grown in these 6 weeks?

And the SLIDESHOW (for those of you who were patient enough to keep going).

Emerson's First Thanksgiving

After the crazy weekend we just had, it was a total treat today as Emerson decided to be Mr. Smiley and smiled at me numerous times today. That was just what this exhausted and worn-down mommy needed.

This weekend was a holiday to never forget. Not only was my entire family out for the  holiday, but Kyle's entire family was as well. We had 3 Thanksgivings, a bar day, a baby shower, and a first birthday party. The only thing we didn't get to do was shop! Emerson was a trooper, loving all the attention he was getting. He has a bit of a stuffy nose, so he wound up sleeping a lot, but he never got upset that he was being passed around continuously.

We loved that everyone got to meet him and it made for a really special first Turkey Day holiday for him (despite a Packer loss and mom and dad getting minimum sleep for 4 nights).

What is this thing???

My pet turkey makes gobble sounds!

Thanksgiving Day Outfit!

Sleeping for my Aunt Amanda!

Tia Irina knows how I like it!

Tio Brian, or Uncle, but he is teaching me Spanish

Auntie Cassie is no longer "the baby"

Granddad came for a visit, too!

Davis family Thanksgiving (#1)

Uncle Nick is back from the boat!

Grandmom matches my blanket

Mom and Dad with me on my First Thanksgiving

Uncle Brian is helping me be more like my daddy

This is my soon-to-be cousin Snipes! I can't wait to meet him, too!

The Jensen Family Thanksgiving (#2)

Mommy's treat with the girls!

My best advice

I know personally just how many different blogs, articles, books, and people are out there to provide advice for pregnancy and for new moms. I find myself Googling so many questions I have on a regular basis (and like I teach my students, I don't just pick the first one and stop reading, I read a bunch to find out different opinions). On that note, I am going to be a bit hypocritical of my belief that you should take all advice with a grain of salt and give you some of the best advice I received (but maybe didn't heed), or have to give from my own personal experience, with the hope that it will be the advice you take.

First, I wish I would have packed that hospital bag when the pregnancy app told me to. Or my husband told me to. I do not like the fact that I spent the first hour of labor wondering what I'd need. Next time, there is no waiting.

In that hospital bag, I really wish I would have had an extra pillow and blanket for Kyle. He froze as my hormones raged and I endured days of sweating.  I also wish I had bought a nursing bra (with flexibility of size- like a sports-style) and a nursing tank top to wear home/ at the hospital. I did not need movies (no movie was as good as watching the new baby), or fancy underwear to wear home. Buy some crappy boy shorts you don't mind ruining if you want to bring your own underwear. OR take advantage of the hospital disposable kind- no one cares what you are wearing there.

Next, I really was not ready for the storm of the first month with the baby. I got some great advice on how to get through it, which I solicited, and the only thing I can really say is you just have to go with the flow that first month and not try to plan for anything. You will never be able to predict what the baby will be like. Get as much rest as you can when you can. It is ok to put the baby down when he or she is sleeping and not keep holding him or her. Don't feel guilty if he or she sleeps with you one or two nights. Don't feel guilty if he or she sleeps in the swing or napper chair. Keep the baby warm- this might help if he or she doesn't like being in the crib by himself or herself. And accept all the offers for meals from friends or family- but ask them to come in week 3 and not just the first week. Week 3 is harder. Take lots of pictures, including a newborn photo session in the first 2 weeks. It was totally worth getting those memories captured professionally when all I had to do was watch and get ready myself. Invite people over to help hold the baby so you can shower and eat.

Last, my advice is to not give up your life. My husband and I got out with the baby on day 8, and have taken him to various backyard get-togethers, parks, restaurants (at off times with fewer people), and stores. It makes you feel like life is still sort of normal, even though it isn't. I know some doctors caution against this, but this may be the example of advice I threw out. As long as people aren't touching your child, germs happen, but are rare. That is my opinion.

So now I've contributed to the overload, but at least I will be able to read this before child number 2 as a reminder to myself.

No matter what you do- the kid will be fine- just look at this!!!!

Daytime Discoveries

I have 6 weeks off every summer. However, every summer I spend those 6 weeks traveling, tanning by the pool, and the time always flies by too fast. I thought about this today as I enter my 5th week of maternity leave. Although it feels as if it has gone by quickly in hind sight, the time has passed in a dramatically different way than during my summer breaks. I have spent a lot more time on the couch, in front of the TV.

This has lead me to some interesting daytime discoveries. We all know that daytime TV sucks. Commercials for ITT Technical Institute, or Medicare, lead us to discover exactly who the audience of daytime TV is. Jerry Springer or Maury should further support this hypothesis. What about us moms? There are plenty of stay-at-home moms out there. Where is their TV?

Oh, I found it. HGTV. TLC. Bravo. A&E. Who knew that I could literally watch every single episode of "Love It or List It" ever made? Or find fascination in "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"? I started watching more wedding shows than I did planning my own wedding. I got stuck in a conundrum. I was no longer attracted to "Property Brothers". I could only endure so much "Say Yes to the Dress". I had to branch out.

Aha! Discovery.
"Ellen" at 3:00 p.m. I love this lady! She is funny! So I now find myself trying to schedule feedings and couch time around 3:00 so I can indulge. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law had already discovered this phenomenon, so I am slow on the uptake.

Then- get this- I find the Music Choice channel selection (I always have known it was there for the great "Sounds of the Season" selection, but in a moment of desperation I tried to find lullabies and found the 90's channel. O. M. G.  If you EVER wanted to know just how much your life has changed, juxtapose the now with your junior high and high school music library. Let me illustrate what the last hour has brought me:

Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise

En Vogue- Never Gonna Get It

Bobbi Brown- Humpin' Around

Wilson Phillips- Hold On

Wallflowers- One Headlight

Mariah Carey with Boys II Men- One Sweet Day

Dee Light- Groove is in the Heart

Puff Daddy and the Family- Nobody Slow Me Down

Mmmmmm- Crash Test Dummies

What if God was One of Us- Joan Osborne

JayZ- Can I Get A What What

Holy Flashback, Batman! I never thought I'd remember the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise so accurately. If there were a monitor watching me, I would have been embarrased by what I just did when Puff Daddy and the Family or JayZ came on and I booty shaked like I was back at the Kappa Sigma house in college. Anything to get Emerson to stop crying, right? He loved me singing "Never Gonna Get It"- even though I now know that sleep is what I will "never get"...

On that note, we've entered the joys of what my baby books have deemed "the fussiest stage" when Emerson has realized he'd rather be awake and social than asleep. Which means he either has to be held and rocked (and fighting sleep with all his might) or feeding to stay happy. Or in the car. I'm ready to rack up some major mileage after the evening we had last night and the day I've had today. And how, might you ask, have I found time to write a blog. This is called an emergency for sanity. I can ignore cries for 10 minutes at a time. And then he drifts off and I get 10 minutes of peace. Then I take care of him for 10 minutes. Then the cycle repeats. So, needless to say, I wrote this! It may have taken the last 4 hours, but I did it! And I won't go nuts because of this much needed "adult time".

Unless, of course, Notorious BIG or Tupac come on. Then I'll go nuts, just a different type of nuts.

Then:

Rockin' 1992 at my 12th birthday party

Junior winter formal- 1997- when I learned to booty shake

And now... the mess of the ottoman where I camp out during the day